Faith

Sandbars and Faith

Every summer growing up, my family would vacation in Florida. We always went to Navarre Beach on Santa Rosa Island because of its beautiful and secluded beaches and because it was right in the middle of Pensacola and Destin which provided several “touristy” opportunities nearby. The best part was definitely the beaches. There were miles of virtually undisturbed powdery, sugar-white shoreline which gave us great access to the warm gulf coast waters. (Can you tell I love the Alabama/Florida gulf coast?)

I remember one of my older brother’s favorite parts was swimming out to the sandbars. They’re very common all along the gulf coast and because of Santa Rosa Island’s location, we could always count on a few being along Navarre Beach. My older brother loved them, I hated them. You see, you almost always had to swim over a trench-like part of the seabed to get to the sandbar and that terrified me. Being much younger and much smaller than my brother, I couldn’t touch and therefore had no concept of what was below me…to top that off, I’d seen Jaws and was terrified of sharks.

The summer that I was 8, my brother and his friends wanted to swim out to the sandbar as they usually did. My brother asked me if I wanted to go out to the sandbar with them and I wasn’t about to have anything to do with that. My brother told me that I could “ride” on his back meaning that I could hold on and he would swim. I was still hesitant to do this but I trusted my brother.

I held onto my brother as he and his friends began to swim out. Let me tell you, at the time that felt like the longest minute of my short life. In my head, I’d made a huge mistake and there was nothing anybody could say to me in that moment that was going to calm me down. I just knew I was going to die.

I see the same thing happening in life sometimes. We are confronted with some opportunity that is scary because it’s new and different. It may even be that we’ve seen someone else venture out in a similar fashion and have a terrible experience. We hesitantly step out in faith because ultimately we trust in God but the second we hit any sort of speed bump, we lose that trust. We forget about the faith on which we leaned from the beginning and we refuse to be calmed by any scriptures, any words of affirmation.

Why? Why do we constantly question Him? Hasn’t God proved Himself to be faithful time and time again? Yet, as often as He proves Himself to us, we revert back to the the questions and complaints. It’s because of our human nature to expect failure. It seems unreasonable to expect someone to be completely and totally dependable 100% of the time. I know that I am terribly guilty of this. It’s often hard for me to give complete trust to anyone including God Himself…but I also recognize the fault in this. I recognize that I continually receive opportunities that I simply don’t deserve; I haven’t “earned” them and never could. They are simply reflections of God’s faithfulness to me.

Spoiler Alert: I didn’t die swimming to the sandbar. I made it out there with my brother and actually had a blast with him and his friends. After some time we swam back and, while I was still nervous, I felt better having experienced the swim once before. We made it to the sandbar and the shore unscathed despite my fear and lack of trust, much like how it has worked time and time again in my life with my fear and lack of trust in God. It’s not always easy to have faith but take assurance that God is looking out for you. The end result may not always be what you expected but it’s always going to work for your good and His glory and ultimately, that’s all that really matters.

Music Monday 9.22.14

“In Christ Alone” by Shane & Shane

While I lived in Dallas, I attended a Tuesday night worship service for young adults called The Porch at Watermark Church. One of my favorite parts about the service was the worship (shocker). It was typically led by Shane & Shane and it was incredible every week.

A lot of people know “In Christ Alone” by Stuart Townsend. While I’ve always loved the song, I’ve become particularly drawn to Shane and Shane’s version because of the addition of the tag and the musical setting. They would do this song often at The Porch and I’ve been enamored with it ever since I first heard it. I miss worshipping with Shane and Shane and everyone at Watermark Church but I’m thankful for the time I got to spend there singing songs like this one.

 

I’ve created a playlist on Spotify featuring all the songs from Music Monday, feel free to follow it along with the posts.

Accepted

I was recently talking with my good friend, Becca Wilson, about the realization that college students aren’t staying connected to the church. In fact, research from the Fuller Youth Institute and College Transition Initiative has shown that approximately 50% of youth who grew up in the church are leaving their faith behind in their college years. As someone who is passionate about working with youth and young adults, this troubles me. As a college freshman and someone who is passionate about her faith, Becca wrote this recently and sent it to me. I loved it so much that I wanted to post it on my blog. After some convincing, she is letting me share it with you.

“I recently went through recruitment and was offered a bid to a sorority at TCU. At first it seemed cool, a fun social group to be a part of on campus. But I had a gut feeling and after some serious thinking, praying, and talking with several people on and off campus, I knew my gut just wasn’t going to shut up about this one. Now don’t get me wrong, the people are awesome; every single girl I met through the recruitment process and after bid day was so welcoming and really seemed to care about what I was going through. There was just something in my heart telling me that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be, that I was meant to be somewhere else. I just realized that Greek life wasn’t for me. Since I made the decision to drop out, I have been happier and more confident in who I am and where I’m headed, and I am 100% sure I made the right choice. However, there has been one stressor that has come with my decision. Multiple people, including me, have worried about my decision because of one reason, and I’ve been thinking about it extensively the past couple days. As a college freshman, this little phrase is EVERYWHERE in my life right now and it has begun to bother me quite a bit:

“In college you’re going to want to have a group you can identify yourself with”

Why? Why do I need people to define me? Why do I have to be a part of a group just to feel important on campus, and why does that matter at all? Of course in the beginning, I was guilty of this mentality, for sure. In fact, I would go as far as to say it’s one of the main reasons I even decided to go through recruitment in the first place. Every girl in every house would ask me, “Why did you decide to rush?” And every time I answered, “I don’t really know many people here, so I just want an instant group of friends to associate with and to know I can count on.” I’m not saying this is WRONG, but I’m saying there is something to be said for the fact that we don’t NEED to find a group to define us. Having a group of people who genuinely love and care about you, who you can go to for advice, for accountability, and for guidance, now that’s something everyone needs. But the fact that we, as college freshman, or as anyone really, should feel that we HAVE to find some sort of group to call our own is simply false.

Instead of running towards people who will make us feel accepted, and make us feel like we are a part of something, we should be running to the one who will never fail us, Christ. Can’t I identify myself in God alone? Can’t I identify myself as a Christian, with the church, with the community of fellow believers? Fellowship is very important to me, so I’m not saying that Christ is the only thing I need in my life. I strongly believe that my faith would not grow without the help of others, but I’m talking about identification, not existence. All of this college stuff, all the sororities, the clubs, activities, parties, they’ll all go away. Christ won’t. So doesn’t it make more sense for me to identify myself in Him rather than a fleeting social group? Honestly, this concept scares me to no end. The fact that I may never find a social group to call my own, the fact that maybe I won’t fit in. But you know at the same time it’s awfully comforting. God will never go away. I wish I could bold that one hundred times and scream it because so many people just don’t live their lives in a way that exemplifies that.

I believe in Christ’s eternal and unfading love. Since I’ve been at TCU, my faith has been tested through the activities I’ve tried to put myself into. My life before now has been easy, I was in band, and I had a home church. My path was laid out for me. I had easy ways to make friends, and I felt I was somewhere I belonged. When that suddenly all ended and I had to start fresh, I was forced to put my faith and trust in Him to lead me where I’m meant to be and it’s been a hell of a lot more challenging than I ever thought. I’m not telling you that being in a sorority is bad. I’m not telling you that not being in a sorority is bad. I’m telling you that if we are to call ourselves believers, our identification in Christ alone should be enough. Worldly love, worldly acceptance, and worldly comfort are all essential to fulfill our social needs, but you don’t need a group to have a purpose. Our primary purpose is found in glorifying God and through our worship of and devotion to Him we are fulfilling that purpose.

If you’re like me, stop searching for a group. Stop stressing out over being accepted and fitting into a certain mold these groups have for you. If you find one that uplifts you and helps you grow spiritually, by all means do it. If you don’t, just know that you don’t need that to feel accepted. Christ has already accepted you and in the end, that’s the only “group” that is truly everlasting.”

Hope Out of Fear

I had PE during 1st period my freshman year of high school. I remember changing in the locker room, grabbing my bookbag, and making my way back into the gym with my friends to head towards 2nd period English. As we headed out, there was a group of girls that passed us and I heard them say, “It was some accident with a small plane…” I didn’t think anything of it at the moment and never would have remembered those words had it not been for what happened next. I walked into my English class and the teacher had the TV turned on to CNN. In the time I had walked from the gym to my English class, a plane had hit the second tower. Everyone walking into class was confronted with the image of billowing smoke coming from these two towers. We never pulled out our books, we never even thought about English, we just sat and watched.

I honestly don’t remember much of the events over the next few days. I remember feeling genuinely afraid of what might happen…the fear of what else could be done to America, the fear of what we might do in return, the fear of how this would affect everyone, and more than anything the fear of how it concerned our military. My brother was serving in the National Guard at the time and would later go on to fight in Afghanistan. I just remember there being confusion and fear from everyone.

A year later, there were, of course, several memorial services. Schools, churches, community organizations, news specials…everyone wanted to commemorate what had happened and make sure that we would never forget. I attended several of those services and was inspired by many of them but honestly, I couldn’t tell you a single thing about any of them now 12 years later, only that they happened.

Another year passed and with that came more memorial services, fewer in number but every bit as patriotic as the year before. Again I attended several but couldn’t tell you one detail about any of them. What I can tell you is what my AP U.S. History teacher Mrs. Smitherman said on that day. She spoke to our class on the exact importance of why we must never forget. She spoke of the hope that can come out of our fear…out of our pain. She spoke about using that hope as motivation to not just be a participant but an active creator of a brighter future…how we as the next generation can learn from the unfortunate events of the past to shape a better world for the generation after us.

I’m inspired by the fact that 13 years later people still talk about that day in 2001. They share posts with one another, talk about where they were, thank active and former members of the armed forces, and spend some time remembering those who died that day. And while it is so very important that we do all of these things to commemorate that day, it’s equally important that we spend some time thinking about hope. More than anything, a hope that we can put aside our differences and work together for a brighter and better future so that our children, our nieces and nephews, our grandkids will never have to experience something like this.

I had never visited New York before the twin towers fell so I never got to see them in person but on a recent trip to New York, I had the opportunity to see One World Trade Center. I had been to New York several times in between the time the twin towers fell and 1WTC’s recent completion so I had become accustomed to the typical skyline. This new building towered over everything else. I was reminded of the fear I felt that day and in the days after but I was also reminded of what Mrs. Smitherman told us. To me, this building stands as a beacon of hope…a symbol of what can be born out of tragedy and fear. I will never forget what happened and I will continue to hope for unity committed to a brighter and better future for us all.

world-trade-center

The Patience of Job

I started a new series of posts yesterday called “Music Monday”. The premise is that I will post a musical selection every Monday and talk a little bit about the lyrics and the meaning of the song from my perspective, basically how it edifies me and how I hope it might edify you. I have two problems, one is that I love music and can’t get enough of it; the other is that when I start something new I have a tendency to be really excited about it and get impatient waiting to see it come to fruition. Since yesterday, I have written 15 Music Monday posts that are now just sitting in my drafts taunting me.

Patience is an annoying thing. I bet you thought I was going to say that it’s a virtue…well it’s that too but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a pain in the butt when you have to practice it. I have found myself being confronted with several opportunities to increase my patience lately…test after test coming my way allowing me to understand patience better. Even in the times I fail the test, I always find myself learning a lesson after the fact so either way I’m growing from the experience.

I’ve always admired Job. How can this guy watch everything he knows, everything he loves be taken away from him and still have faith? The best answer I can come up with is wisdom and patience. Extreme patience. In spite of his friends mocking him and telling him to turn from God, he continues his devotion. He waits on God.

Job’s patience pays off. He remains faithful for many years despite his suffering and God rewards that faithfulness. The thing is, I think Job would have remained faithful to his dying day regardless of what happened. It’s hard for me to imagine losing everything like Job did. It’s even harder for me to imagine that I would have the wisdom and patience like Job did to respond in the same manner. I’d like to hope I would; I’d like to think I would but there is the cold hard reality that I am broken and probably could not even begin to touch the edge of Job’s integrity.

So, in the meantime, I’ll continue to work on it. Patience is annoying at times but it is also a virtue and we’re made better for practicing it. In retrospect, think about how patient God is with us. I know that I fail Him on a daily basis but He doesn’t spite me for that. He loves me and forgives me. Doesn’t He deserve the same from me? At the very least an attempt to reciprocate?

I’m not going to post all those Music Monday posts at once like I’m so very tempted to do…I’ll be patient and save them (you may not even care as much as I do about them anyway). I’ll continue to admire Job and pray that I can even begin to glimpse, in my own life, the wisdom and patience he displayed. I’ll continue to lean on God for understanding in my every day life and learn more to wait on Him.

Who Are You?

I have found that I spend a great deal of my devotional time trying to attain a greater understanding of who God is. This is, of course, a good thing to do as we should strive to reflect His character (Matthew 5:48), something that can only truly be accomplished by being in relationship with Him….and the absolute base level of maintaining a relationship with God is through the reading of scripture so we can discover more about Him and prayer that we may speak to Him and be spoken to by Him.

Recently however, I found myself wondering what scripture says about how I am viewed by Christ. As I researched all the different ways we, humankind, are referenced in the Bible, I realized that God thinks a lot of things about us. I don’t have nearly enough space to list all the different things we are to God so I decided to narrow it down to the five that I feel are most necessary for us to know and understand.

1.) You are imperfect. 

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

You might think that this list is just going to be a lot of negative things but it’s important I start with this one, stick with me. The crappy news is that we are broken and undesirable beings incapable of perfection. Verse 23 above says it plainly with that first word: All. Your pastor, your worship leader, your mentor, your role models, teachers, leaders…every single one of us falls short. We are born into sin by way of Adam and imperfection is unavoidable. The good news? That’s found in verse 22 and 24. We don’t have to be perfect because we have a savior in Jesus Christ who is perfect. His perfect grace justifies us, redeems us, and covers our imperfections.

2.) You are free.

“I have the freedom to do anything but not everything is helpful. I have the freedom to do anything but I won’t be controlled by anything.” I Corinthians 6:12

We have no choice in the matter when it comes to being born into sin but we do have a clear choice when it comes to maintaining that relationship with sin. Free will is a wonderful and terrible thing all wrapped up in one nice gift from God. Wonderful because it gives us the opportunity to choose relationship with Him which makes us an active participant in that relationship. Terrible because it also presents difficulty in overcoming our own selfish, sinful desires (I Peter 2:16). Our freedom to be in relation with God makes the end result of choosing Him all the more worthwhile as we come to the realization that God’s grace is a far better reward than anything we could ever attain outside of Him.

3.) You are loved.

“This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” I John 4:9-10

Hopefully you knew this long before reading it just now. It always gets me just a little to think about this one…this idea that an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-present God would even consider me, nonetheless have unconditional love for me. The great part is I don’t have to understand it. There are multiple scriptures in which God not only tells us of His love for us but also describes in detail just how great and boundless is that love. In Genesis 22, Abraham was commanded by God to sacrifice his son Isaac as an offering to Him. Abraham’s love for God was so great that he was willing to obey this command in spite of losing his only son. At the last-minute, God called out to Abraham to commend his obedience and to spare Isaac. Conversely to Isaac, the sacrificing of Christ did occur. God’s love for us is so great that He wants to see us obtain life and righteousness through that sacrifice. Not only are you loved, you’re loved to a larger degree than you can ever possibly fathom.

4.) You are a child of God.

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18

This is one of those cliché sayings you hear all the time growing up but something being cliché doesn’t necessarily make it any less true. Actually because of its cliché status, I think we all-too-often forget that this is true. If you think about how you typically interact with your earthly parents, it’s probably vastly different from your interactions with your heavenly Father. I know that I am guilty of getting caught up in the motions of how I think my relationship with God should be from time to time but I think God is far less concerned with the formalities of the communication as He is with establishing and maintaining that communication. Another important message we get from this point is pertinent for those without earthly parents. I have a good friend whose biological parents died when He was still very young. This caused him to be raised by his grandmother. He appreciates and loves his grandmother but it can certainly be difficult to never have the opportunity to connect with your biological parents. I know from his sharing with me that he takes an abundance of comfort in knowing that he never can and never will lose his heavenly Father.

5.) You are accepted.

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15:7

This is the single most important message of the modern-day church. Why? Because it’s an all-encompassing message of everything we are to God. Despite an abundance of love, mercy, and grace in Christ; there are many who preach the opposite of these three foundations of faith in the name of the very one who died that we might obtain them. If we are to believe that ALL are imperfect and born into sin, ALL are free to the will of sin or the will of God, ALL are loved and extended the grace and mercy of Christ, and ALL are children of God our creator and sustainer; then we must believe that ALL are accepted as such.

D’oh!

I met with an old friend the other day over a drink to catch up and reconnect. It had been a good while since we’d seen each other and even longer since we’d actually sat down and chatted. As we caught up, he began telling me this laundry list of things currently going wrong in his life. Now before I continue let me tell you, I have been avoiding listening to other peoples problems like the plague recently. I felt like I had too many of my own problems to be able to help anyone else with theirs.

As he started telling me about what was going on, I dreaded having to sit through it (which in and of itself is a terrible mindset to have). He wasn’t saying it in a whiny or complaining way, he was just presenting himself and what he was going through in an honest and vulnerable way. As he began wrapping up his recent history, he surprised me by ending it with “but I’m not going to let those things control my life”. It’s great that he had this mentality but it surprised me because for as long as I’ve known him, he’s been a major worrier. I mean stressed out all the time kind of personality.

Both of us having gone through some recent troubles, our troubles became the main topic of our conversation. You see, I’m a split personality when it comes to worrying. There are some things about which I’m very laid back and there are some things about which I worry until I stress myself right into a panic. When it came to my divorce, my relocation, and my job change this year, I panicked. A lot. Having experienced those things and having reacted the way I did, I found myself very impressed that my friend was having such a healthy attitude towards his problems.

A couple days after meeting with him, I was having some quiet time to just pour into scripture and I landed on the 6th chapter of Matthew. Matthew 6 is a part of the sermon on the mount and is probably best known for Jesus introducing what has become known as the Lord’s prayer. In the last few verses of the chapter however (Matthew 6:25-34), Jesus talks about worry and anxiety. None of the verses stand out to me more than verse 27:

“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

As I thought about my friend’s reaction to his troubles and I thought about what Christ was saying here, I had a Homer Simpson “D’oh!” moment (currently watching the “Every Simpson’s Ever” Marathon). How much more simple can it be? We all get so wrapped up in our troubles and our concerns, the big and the small, and we think that stressing over it will somehow help the situation. Not only does it not add any hours to your life as the verse above tells us but there is significant medical research which suggests that worry is awful for your heart health.

I know it’s easy to get caught up in stress. It’s easy to let worry invade our thoughts and control our reactions…but because it’s so easy, it’s important that we spend even more time thinking on the wonderful stress relief our Savior provides. I’ll be the first to tell you that as much you as try, you can’t predict the future. Things will not go the way we want them to; people will change, places will change, situations will change. In this world that seems to be ever-changing, let’s learn to appreciate a God that is never-changing; a God that doesn’t want you to worry.

Not Alone

This morning, I panicked. It hit me that I move in a month and I freaked out. I’m leaving behind the past 4 years of my life. I’m leaving security, I’m leaving friends, I’m leaving a ministry, I’m leaving people who have become like family. What if I am making a huge mistake? What if I am just running away from something truly wonderful? What if I never find what I’m looking for? What if I never find someone else? What if I never get over my ex-wife? What if…?

The thoughts swirled through my mind all morning. I fixated on them. I retreated to my escape and ran for as long as my legs could stand it. It was hot, muggy and there was no breeze. It didn’t work. I returned home and began getting ready for work. I turned on music while I got ready and sang along. It didn’t work. No matter what I did, I couldn’t shake it.

I got to my office and immersed myself in work. I longed for anything to distract me…to take my mind off all the panic and the surging pressure I was feeling on the inside of my body. I started going over details for my last tour with LPYC. It broke me. I lost it. I stopped everything I was doing and simply thought to myself “I can’t take this”. I said it aloud. “I can’t do this”. It was silent in my office for a brief moment. It was then that I heard a voice in my head say, “I know…but you don’t have to take this because I can. And remember that you’re not doing this alone.”

It’s that simple. This is undoubtedly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I’m leaving my life behind. I’m leaving what I thought was a great marriage. I’m leaving the job I thought I would have for a long time. I’m leaving what has become home. I’m leaving a planned future. I’m leaving what I thought was certainty.

What I am not leaving is God. And He isn’t leaving me. I can’t take this. I can’t do this…but this morning as I panicked, as I cried, and as I looked for every possible distraction rather than confront my emotion, I got a much needed reminder that I’m not doing this alone. And while I can’t handle this, God can. In fact, I Peter 5:7-10 directs us to not even attempt to handle our own worries and anxieties but to cast them on God.

It’s easy to get caught up in “what if’s” and it’s even easier to let the worry and bitterness from those questions control our minds. In a recent sermon series, Johnathan Pokluda said something that stuck with me, something I very much needed to hear. He said “Worrying is fear that God will get it wrong and bitterness is believing that He did.” All my thoughts this morning were based on fears that I was making a mistake. Even as I believe that I am following God’s direction for my life, I fear the uncertainty my future now holds and fear can be powerful. I won’t let the fear control me though. Don’t let it control you either. Trust in God and know that whatever comes your way, you’re not doing it alone.

Doubt

Faith is the art of holding on to things in spite of your changing moods and circumstances.

C.S. Lewis

I have always felt strong in my faith. I’ve had seasons where I maybe wasn’t as close to God as I should have been but I’ve never struggled with believing that He truly loved me. A few months ago, when I started to have serious doubts about God’s care and concern for me, I didn’t know what to do. So, I began to lash out at Him. I began to wonder how He could allow something so very devastating to happen to me. I’ve lived my life for Him. I’ve devoted my life and career to service in His ministry and this was His way of rewarding me. I was angry with God.

Here’s the first problem with that: never once has God said that life was or would be fair. Often times, people like to point to Jeremiah 29:11 and say that life should be a bed of roses. Read the entire 29th chapter of Jeremiah and you find out that the hope and future God is promising in verse 11 is amidst slavery, trials, and turbulence. God promises hope but He doesn’t promise an easy life or a fair life. He promises a future but it may not be the future you had in mind.

Here’s the second problem: I was blaming God for someone else’s choices that go against His will. God didn’t cause my wife to leave me. He allowed it to happen through the direction of His own sovereignty and her free will, but He didn’t cause it. So why should I blame Him? Why should I doubt His will and His plan for my life because of someone else’s choices?

Tony Evans has said “Sometimes, God lets you hit rock bottom so that you will discover that He is the rock at the bottom”. That very much describes my state during all this doubt. I had to crash because it truly was the only way I was going to turn to God. During that crash, I turned to a variety of sources for answers and happiness or simply an opportunity to numb the pain. None of them could compare to the answers, the joy, and the deliverance from pain that comes with Christ.

The doubt, anger, and confusion I was experiencing was completely normal during a time of grief but it’s important that we not give in to those doubts. It’s important that we keep our faith even in the most uncertain times.