I am not a fan of change. I’m not talking about coins and I’m not talking about little day-to-day changes. I’m not much of a routine person. I get up, eat, workout, and go to bed at different times almost every single day. But big changes…I hate them. They are very difficult for me to accept and even harder to readjust.
First of all, I did not want to graduate college. Well, maybe I did in some ways but for the most part, I loved (and still love) Montevallo and I loved how secure it made me feel. The idea of leaving and going out into the world terrified me. Secondly, I did not want to go to graduate school. But, I didn’t have job prospects in a state (Texas) with which I was very unfamiliar at the time and I did have an assistantship to study with a musician that I liked and respected. It made sense.
I had no trouble with the getting married part. I was marrying the girl of my dreams and couldn’t wait to start my life with her. More than anything however, I did not want to move to Texas. It was too far away from everyone we knew and everything I held dear. But the woman I loved did and I would have followed her to the ends of the earth and back…so I moved.
The first year I was in Texas, all I thought about was getting out. It’s not because it wasn’t wonderful (although it could have milder summers), it’s because I moved here with the MINDSET that it wouldn’t be wonderful. I failed to see everything around me that I genuinely loved about Texas. I focused on the negative. During my first summer here though, I started warming up to Texas (pun intended). It was during this time that I got my current job directing the Living Proof Youth Choir at Christ United Methodist Church in Plano, TX.
I have spent the last three years falling in love with LPYC. God blessed me with the opportunity to make music that glorified Him while ministering into the lives of some of the coolest, brightest, and most incredible kids I’ve ever met. At some point during this time, I was actually able to see myself settling in Texas and being happy here for a long time. That’s why it’s so hard for me to leave now.
It’s never about our own timing in life. It’s all about God’s timing. See, I’m a firm believer that if God is calling you to transition during a season of success and you ignore it, you’re forcing yourself into failure. I have experienced great success while in Texas and have been blessed much more than I deserve, but God is calling me to a new season in my life so I’m going home to Alabama. I’ve obviously experienced a great amount of change already during the past few months and that makes me nervous and scared about adding more change to that, but when God speaks into your heart (and you are 100% confident it’s God talking), you listen.
I was nervous in 2010 and I’m nervous again now in 2014. But, I have no doubt that all the changes in 2010 made me into the person I am right now at this very moment and I can confidently say that the person I am today is better than the person I was four years ago.
I’ll never forget my time in Texas and who’s to say I won’t end up back here. It really is a wonderful place to live. For now though, I’m going to be around family and life-long friends. I’m going to spend some time getting to know myself better. I’m going to spend some time healing. More than anything though, I’m going to spend some time seeking God with my whole heart.
One thought on “Timing”
On one hand, I'm sorry that I will not have the opportunities to see you from time to time here in Texas. (I never did find those opportunities, but I always hoped to!). On the other hand, I know how you feel about Alabama. Please keep me posted – what are you doing & where are you doing it? I do hope it's Montevallo or north; I have friends & family in the B'ham area that I hope to visit next time I'm back in civilization, & Montevallo isn't that far. Whatever, God's best to you, brother!