Do you really though? If you’ve ever sung Martin Nystrom’s “As the Deer”, you’ve sung the lyrics above. But did you really mean it when you sang them? Do you really love God “so much more than anything.” I’ve sung these words several times throughout my life and I can honestly say that for the first time in many years, I actually meant the words when I was singing this recently.
As humans, we are inherently flawed. Let’s not get into a theological debate about this. I believe that you and I are born sinful and remain sinful for the duration of our life. Fortunately, we have a God that overlooks our inherently sinful nature and forgives us with the redeeming blood of Christ. But don’t get confused. You are sinful. I am sinful. We are sinful.
With that sinful nature, we have a tendency to place people and/or things above God. I’ve spent the last 8 years with my ex-wife above God. I had a relationship with Him. I loved Him, worshiped Him, prayed to Him, read His word, and listened for His call but I did all of this with the subconscious mindset that He was #2. It was so subconscious that I didn’t even want to recognize or admit that it was true. I wanted to do what God wanted me to do and be in His service, as long as it fit into the scheme of making my ex-wife happy.
During the early parts of my separation, I found myself asking for God’s help and healing. I was asking for Him to work in my life and lead me the way He wanted me to go…as long as it would bring my wife and me back together. The problem is, God doesn’t work like that. We have the free will to follow His path or another path and He will not force us in either direction.
I’ve taken the blinders off. I’m no longer following the path of what I want. I still ask for God’s help and healing but now I’m also asking for His direction, without the stipulations. I’m determined to place myself completely in His hands. I’m determined to figure out exactly what it is that God wants for me and from me and see that come to fruition.
We serve a loving, forgiving God that wants to see us living fulfilled lives within His purpose. Whatever He has in store is far greater than anything we could ever imagine. It’s seems foolish to want to limit our own potential by thinking that our imagination is greater than God’s realization.
I’ll leave you with two verses that have gotten me through a lot of the past few months. Be encouraged. God has a plan for you and for me. Just make sure you love Him “more than any other, so much more than anything.”
not worthy to be compared with the glory that is
to be revealed to us.” Romans 8:18 (NASB)
for good to those who love God, to those who are called
according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NASB)